“You want to touch it, don't you,” Duke egomaniacally growls.
Walking into the lavish bathroom, I stare into the mirror and press the activity button.
With marble pillars, a wading pool, and vaulted ceilings in his living room, he's a perfect candidate for MTV Cribs. Before heading down to the studio on a lower level of the casino, I peruse Duke's impressive digs. Tonight's guest? The one and only Duke Nukem. The young ladies ask Duke if he thinks the video game is any good, to which he curtly replies, “Yeah, but after 12 f-ing years, it should be.”ĭropping the game controller and grabbing the remote, Duke flips through channels and stumbles upon a commercial for the D-, It's Late Show. Duke's holding a game controller while being pleasured by the Holsom Kids, two Lolita looking pop stars whose parents obviously taught them the value of sharing. The camera pans out out from the football field, through a flat-screen television, and into an luxurious penthouse apartment on top of the Lady Killer casino in Las Vegas. After taking down the boss, Duke roughs up the beast and kicks its cyclops eye through the uprights in celebration of his victory. I strafe oncoming missiles while doling out punishment with the Devastator and gathering the ammo that planes are dropping onto the field. Moving through the stadium tunnels and onto the gridiron, I come face to face with a giant Cycloid at midfield. I opt for drawing a giant gun aimed at an alien's head – simple but effective. Walking up to the board, Duke can erase it and create his own plan with a marker.
The commander is in front of a dry erase board explaining the tactics for Operation C-k Block, the plan for preventing the aliens from making out with our ladies. After what seems like minutes, Duke wraps up his business and joins a collection of EDF soldiers gathered in a stadium locker room. To see how the action hero has changed since his last ass-kicking escapade, we blasted our way through the first 90 minutes of the game.ĭuke Nukem Forever begins with a familiar scenario that transports me immediately back to 1996 – the action hero is parked in front of a urinal unleashing his preternatural stream. But then the game would suffer so many delays that it was almost comical by the end.After 14 years of development purgatory, a presumed death, and his subsequent resurrection thanks to Gearbox Software's Randy Pitchford, Duke Nukem is ready to return to the spotlight. It was enough to get Duke fans hyped for the game’s release, which at the time, seemed imminent. The demo build shown at E3 was built on the somewhat new Unreal Engine and at the time looked almost cutting edge. Related: The Curious Case Of Duke Nukem 3D's Heavily Censored N64 Portīut back in 2001, Duke Nukem Forever looked like it might actually be a respectable sequel to Duke Nukem 3D. By then, Duke’s graphics and gameplay felt dated, its story jarringly incomplete, and it crashed. Announced in 1997, it took 14 years, three publisher swaps, two engine swaps, and several complete rebuilds before the game was finally released in 2011 to utterly horrible reviews. Not the final 2011 version of the game that was widely panned by critics and fans alike, but the 2001 version that was showcased at that year’s E3.ĭuke Nukem Forever is infamous for being the game that was the longest wait for the biggest let-down.
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